Hi

05/04/2025

I don't really know what I expect from this. I really have a happy life; friends, school and family. I just like to talk. I want someone to listen to me. No one will ever read this, I don't think. And if you do, I'll never meet you. I'm 16 years old, I enjoy drawing, people say I'm good but it's only because they're used to mediocrity.

A thought

I hate my body. But I also think I'm pretty. Why can both things live in the same head without exploding? Ever since I was a little girl I've felt ugly. I have no features that stand out; just dark brown eyes and black hair. I think I once looked in the mirror and thought, why are some people born so privileged while some others have to settle for such a... appearance?

I don't think my parents are ugly; on the contrary; I think my mother is a beautiful person. But I don't think I am. I am also fat. I'm 5'6" and weigh 125 pounds, although it used to be 149. I feel angry that people often didn't have the courage to look me in the face and tell me how ugly I looked. I wish I was like a little doll. Delicate and thin. Cute. I want people to look at me but not flinch. I think I especially hate the shape of my knees. Sometimes I want to cry while I look at myself.

What can I read?

What can I read? I love reading manga. My favorite author is Fujimoto. Especially his one-shots. Although I don't like to say it. I feel almost like an imposter saying it. I also like the summer hikaru died.